To My Children

Being a parent is not that easy. My 16 years of parenthood has made me realize that parenthood has become more and more stressful and hard. Especially when you inherit a culture where youwere more inclined to arrange marriages where you were taught that a relationship before marriage is wrong and you never had the permission of choosing your own partner. I never had the feeling that my parents denied me any rights or I had not enough freedom of my life. When I look back I still believe I lived my life in its full meaning. I believed my parents made better decisions for me, it would have been worse if the choice was mine. But those days are gone. Here I am raising my kids in a world where everything is in my kid’s fingertip. I feel I don’t have any control over what my kids watch, what my kids do or what decisions they make; even though we act like we are so diligent in bringing them up, that’s the reality. Most of the time I struggle between the dos and don’ts. I sometimes am not sure how to defend their arguments. I am so used to obeying my parents with no questions or rather I had no options to ask questions; whereas today I don’t know how many times I hear ‘why’ each day from my kids.  Hence the struggle is finding a balance between the two generations. In one side I don’t want my kids to miss any opportunities or chances to enjoy their life that God has blessed us with, but on the other side I don’t want them to make any wrong decisions or follow this modern world blindly. You are living in a world of luxury where you don’t know the meaning of ‘No’. Or you never get a chance to face the problems or failures.  You are growing up with a group of friends who thinks it’s their life and they can do whatever they want with it. Even if they say they are Christians, they think living together and having sex before marriage is fine. Here come’s my role as a mother or parent. I think I should be more serious in taking that responsibility. When God gave me kids he also assigned me aresponsibility of raising them in a godly way. Bible is our basis, so whatever you do should be according to the living word.  So when people around you  argue with you saying everything is ok, you should have the knowledge and ability to defend them saying that is not ok. You are doing something against the word of God. From the Old Testament days itself, sexual immorality is considered as a sin, one of the Ten Commandments itself is “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). Adultery in Old Testament refers to sexual relationship between two people who are not bound together by God, because we believe that God is the one who makes the relationship as Husband and Wife. We can defend this as it is Old Testament and it is not the old days and we now follow the New Testament. In 1 Corinthians 7:2 Paul says “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband”. In this verse, the apostle Paul describes any activity outside of marriage as “sexual immorality.” That means when we read of “sexual immorality,” it includes sex before marriage as one of many examples of sin. 1Corintians 7: 8-9 says “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” Paul clearly spells out that for unmarried, single people, God desires abstinence from sex for them. If abstinence is not something they can live with, then they should seek to get married. It’s clear that sex within the context of marriage is not a sin, but outside of marriage it is sinful. So does it sounds like I’m such an old trended mom who still wants to stick on the old tradition of arranged marriage? No , not at all, I am so into knowing each other before you start a life together. But not definitely in the worldly manner, where you ‘try before you use’ policy is fine. Always follow Godly ways when you make a decision. Always start with prayers. Pray every day for a good partner. Pray that God help you find and choose a better half, better in all aspects. He wants us to first discover a person's innermost character, who they really are when no one is looking, before we decide to make a commitment of the heart. Does the person strengthen your relationship with Christ, or does he compromise your morals and standards “(1Corinthians 6:14) Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” Once you find the right choice always be aware of avoiding sexual temptation. It is not only a sin against God, but it is a sin against our own bodies “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body (1Corinthians 6:18) . Respect yourself and the one you love by honoring them the way God intends us to honor others. (Romans 12:9) says “Let love be genuine. Hate what is evil; hold fast to what is good”. You should never place anything or anyone over God even if you mean very well and love the person unconditionally. Having God as the focus of your life will help you to love that other person even better. I know we are not there yet, but I just want you to keep these always in your mind. Mom is not a superwoman or anyone who can watch you over all the time; but always remember you are in the eyesight of our God. May he strengthen you to make right decisions at the right time.